I think every Ian Curtis/Joy Division fan out there would be thrilled with this book! It features a list of Joy Division gigs, discography, exclusive photos, complete song lyrics and other unfinished writings.
I feel obliged to thank Debbie (and applaud her) for having the strength to write about it all-- the ups and downs of their relationship since the beginning-- the happiness, the pain, the betrayal. It must have been really difficult for her looking back. I think she tried her best to be honest about everything that transpired- even about the way Annik Honore (the “other woman”) really meant to Ian. She did not dare deny that Annik was able to see through Ian’s lyrics and what was going on inside his troubled soul. Too bad no one took her concerns seriously. It could have saved Ian, for all we know...
As an ardent Joy Division fan, I was absolutely fascinated reading through pages and pages of how Ian was as a child, as a teen, as a husband, and as a father… I totally enjoyed the read, picturing every moment- even those miserably disturbing bits. It’s fair to say that Debbie and Ian had the typical on-and-off couple’s quarrels between them. That’s pretty normal any way I look at it-- the jealousy, the possessiveness, even the ridiculous temper tantrums. But just like watching the film “Control”- when Annik eventually stepped in, it kinda broke my heart. My admiration and respect for Ian diminished dramatically. I was sickeningly torn!
There’s a part of me that somehow feels sorry for him for getting stuck in a marriage while being in love with another woman- and yet another part of me was loathing how he could cheat and lie to his wife. It’s a total plethora of contradicting emotions. Why does shit like this happen to people all the time, huh? (Ok, not all the time, but close! Such a shame how life plays its ugly tricks sometimes. Love… will tear us apart?)
I just can’t help but wonder what really triggered him to take his own life at that exact point in time. To think that Joy Division was already starting to climb up to its peak- he had fantasized and worked hard for it (and so did his band mates and the whole Factory team admittedly) and things were starting to fall into place. So, then, why? Was he really that depressed and in extreme agony of his epileptic condition that he just couldn’t take it anymore? Was he worried and too embarrassed of having frequent fits while performing onstage? Was it the guilt eating up on him for cheating on his wife?- or was he really so in love with Annik so much that he’d rather die than lose her? (I was under the impression that she was going away and leaving him at that time)... or perhaps, perhaps it was simply his ultimate majestic plan? Did he really want to die young and be remembered as one of the most legendary personae in the music history- just like his heroes (i.e. Jim Morrison, James Dean)- beloved, dead and gone. Just the way we remember him now… just the way Debbie somehow thinks so? That moment was bound to come. Maybe...
Barney says it was the pills.
It’s really hard to fathom, but I guess we simply have to accept that it has all ended- the way it did. Whatever his reasons… all we could do now is keep loving the music... In our hearts and minds, let him continue to live…
-------
On another note, I would personally recommend to read the book- “24-Hour Party People” (Tony Wilson) before or after reading this one. They are like 2 pieces of the puzzle that must be glued together. You’ll know what I’m saying when you get there…
*Sep '13 update: Peter Hook's "Unknown Pleasures- Inside Joy Division" is just as awesome as this book- but deals more on Peter and the band's escapades than just Ian. 5-stars. I will be writing about it soon when I get the time :p
As an ardent Joy Division fan, I was absolutely fascinated reading through pages and pages of how Ian was as a child, as a teen, as a husband, and as a father… I totally enjoyed the read, picturing every moment- even those miserably disturbing bits. It’s fair to say that Debbie and Ian had the typical on-and-off couple’s quarrels between them. That’s pretty normal any way I look at it-- the jealousy, the possessiveness, even the ridiculous temper tantrums. But just like watching the film “Control”- when Annik eventually stepped in, it kinda broke my heart. My admiration and respect for Ian diminished dramatically. I was sickeningly torn!
There’s a part of me that somehow feels sorry for him for getting stuck in a marriage while being in love with another woman- and yet another part of me was loathing how he could cheat and lie to his wife. It’s a total plethora of contradicting emotions. Why does shit like this happen to people all the time, huh? (Ok, not all the time, but close! Such a shame how life plays its ugly tricks sometimes. Love… will tear us apart?)
I just can’t help but wonder what really triggered him to take his own life at that exact point in time. To think that Joy Division was already starting to climb up to its peak- he had fantasized and worked hard for it (and so did his band mates and the whole Factory team admittedly) and things were starting to fall into place. So, then, why? Was he really that depressed and in extreme agony of his epileptic condition that he just couldn’t take it anymore? Was he worried and too embarrassed of having frequent fits while performing onstage? Was it the guilt eating up on him for cheating on his wife?- or was he really so in love with Annik so much that he’d rather die than lose her? (I was under the impression that she was going away and leaving him at that time)... or perhaps, perhaps it was simply his ultimate majestic plan? Did he really want to die young and be remembered as one of the most legendary personae in the music history- just like his heroes (i.e. Jim Morrison, James Dean)- beloved, dead and gone. Just the way we remember him now… just the way Debbie somehow thinks so? That moment was bound to come. Maybe...
Barney says it was the pills.
It’s really hard to fathom, but I guess we simply have to accept that it has all ended- the way it did. Whatever his reasons… all we could do now is keep loving the music... In our hearts and minds, let him continue to live…
-------
On another note, I would personally recommend to read the book- “24-Hour Party People” (Tony Wilson) before or after reading this one. They are like 2 pieces of the puzzle that must be glued together. You’ll know what I’m saying when you get there…
*Sep '13 update: Peter Hook's "Unknown Pleasures- Inside Joy Division" is just as awesome as this book- but deals more on Peter and the band's escapades than just Ian. 5-stars. I will be writing about it soon when I get the time :p
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